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Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Chapter 395
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Molly's words keep ringing in my ears even after we have eaten. We were now on to our dessert. | loved ice cream, but today |

couldn’t enjoy it. Not when she had managed to makedoubt everything I've believed for the last few years.

“Why are you so quiet?” she asked as she set her milkshake down. “Are you thinking about what | just told you?”

The last sentence was said with a smirk as she leaned back against her chair.

“Of course not,” | lied, “I am just wondering how I'm going to get Calvin and Gunner to forgive me. No matter which angle | look at

it, there is no silver lining.”

As a lawyer, I'm used to looking at things from different angles when I'm defending my clients. It's what madegood at what |

did. | left no stone unturned and | went through every possible outcome. | did that with my case and | see no hope.

| may not have loved Calvin, but | knew him very well. He had givencountless chances and opportunities to get my priorities

right. | didn’t. Calvin is the kind of man who, once he’s had enough, that's the end of it. There is no going back. There are no more

chances. There is no forgiveness.

| could sit here and lie to myself, but | won't. | didn’t have any hope of Calvin forgiving me. | treated him and Gunner like shit for

years, how am are they supposed to get over that?

“Emma?” Molly calls, pullingback to the present.

My eyes, which had been firmly fixed on the table, turned to her. “Yeah?”

“I know what I'm going to say is cliché but you have to listen to me,” she began. “You will never truly make any progress until you

forgive yourself. You're carrying so much guilt and regret. Both are drowning you, weighing you down and eating you alive. You

have to let go. You have to forgive yourself first.”

| heard her, but what she was saying was almost impossible so | stayed quiet.

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How could | forgive myself? Doesn't she remember what | did to them? What | put them through? | wasn’t just selfish; | was a cruel,

unfeeling bitch.

Remembering what | did to them tand tagain brings this sharp pain to my heart. | can barely breathe and tears start filling

my eyes. The weight of my mistakes have shreddedto so many pieces that | don’t know how to stitch myself back together.

| wish it was as easy as snapping

. . )

my fingers, bukit wasn't. Not when

you made thg kind of mistakes | did.

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Can | evervcall them mistake? A ¢)

. B oN

mistake fs when you accidentally

dial they wrong number or knock-on

. ~~,

the Wrong door. What | did wasn't a

mistake it was the annihilation of

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Gunner and Calvin's heart. There

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wretchedness. Content belongs to

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“Emma, Emma,” Molly whispers all over sudden while tapping my hand with urgency.

“What is it?”

“Don’t look, but Calvin just walked in with Gunner and swoman,” she said.

| couldn't help it, | turned around and looked.

She, literally flung herself over the table and grabbed my head before makinglook at her.

“What the hell are you doing? | told you not to look!” she hissed at me.

“What was | supposed to do? You can tellnot to look and expectnot to look,” | fired back.

My heartbeat had quickened to an

0 hY

alarmingate. Before Molly pulled

my heagback, | had managed {0'see

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| discretely turn around and watch as he slowly pulls out a chair for her. He was smiling wide at her, a smile that had never been

directed atbefore.

Something uncomfortable settles in my heart, and | rub my chest in an effort to get rid of it. What the hell is going on?

“] need to use the bathroom,” | tell Molly out of the blues, then stand up and leave before she can askif | want scompany.

Instead ofyeading straight to the

~~

washroofy, | head towards an empty

table. [was near the one where™

. 74

Gunner and Calvin were currefitly

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| spy on them. Content belangs to

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